I think that it?s safe to say that the biggest inspiration for music and song writing has been love, or lack thereof. I can?t live without my IPod, it helps me drown out the crazy in life, at work and on the train. I have to admit that I am a complete hopeless romantic. Because of this, my music collection boasts tons and tons of love songs. For some reason, however, it has been the heartbreak and longing for the ?lost love? songs that have been recently catching my attention. If anything else they have been making the wheels in my head spin. We have established in a previous blog, if ever so briefly, that I am over analytical.. it may be just that oh so very ?charming? part of my personality that drives me to write this blog.
I?have been?guilty of putting my IPod on shuffle in a fit of self pity and sadness, and visualizing every heartbreak song and how they ?totally fit? and are ?so me and whatshisname?. To be clear, I still love those songs. I love what they say, their vulnerability, rawness and the fact that I can really relate. That is, mind you, what music is supposed to be, is it not? I also find that many of these songs are written by lyrical geniuses. That being said, lately I?ve been remembering conversations that I?ve had with friends about such songs. Time, distance and life changes have also given me a different perspective on those ever so melancholy lyrics.
Why is it that we do that to ourselves? True, every relationship is different, and good or bad shapes you into who you are today. If nothing else, that is something good that each relationship we?ve been in or will be in brings to the table. But let?s be honest, most importantly to ourselves ? those relationships went down the toilet for a really good reason, or reasons. We may not have known what that reason was, but we do now (if not, I hope you will very soon find out..). Sometimes the other person no matter how ?good? of a person they are/where, simply were not the right person for you. Their values, ideas, likes and dislikes, personalities, goals and priorities were in an entirely different world from ours. Or, the other person simply sucked.? They brought out the worst in you, were disloyal, deceitful, selfish, shallow, possessive.. jealous. Other relationships, for many complicated reasons are simply bad for you.. unhealthy. If your ex was the first kind of person, you may have come to realize, or will, that the dissolution of your relationship was the best thing that could?ve happened to the both of you.? Had you stayed with this person, it is very likely you wouldn?t have been happy and you would have made them miserable as well, and vise versa. Now you are free to continue to grow as an individual and find someone who is so much better suited for you, someone who will truly compliment you and bring genuine happiness to your life.. If you already have, congratulations. If your situation was the latter, you dodged a bullet. I congratulate you for letting go (and yes possibly even being let go) of a toxic and unhealthy relationship. You will find something better, if you have not done so already. It?s easy to forget the bad memories of a relationship and safeguard only the good. So, how?s this for a challenge ? before getting all melancholy, misty eyed and before the flashbacks of how ?great? your ex was begin and before you start to think ?oh how I miss those times?? remember why you are no longer with this person. Acknowledge and accept it. I?m all for taking a trip down memory lane, but remember that too much energy spent on your past might keep you from seeing your future or from appreciating your present.
Instead of longing and pining for what used to be or what could?ve been maybe we should look at what is, what will be. Isn?t the point of it all, to learn and grow? Why do we insist on holding on to those feelings even if it?s ever so unconsciously done? The thoughts, the melancholy, the tears give us away. What a waste. Shouldn?t we be open (if not searching) for something greater, something so much better?? I have made a personal resolution. Whether this resolution is one that currently applies or will apply one day is something I choose not to discuss, I think that throwing out a little mystery in the blogosphere is a good thing =), but for sake of argument, I will state it in present tense. ?(If you find yourself in the least bit inspired or able to relate, I invite you to do the same thing- if this doesn?t apply to you yet, be sure to remind yourself to say it when it does)? ..
I will continue to sing along to those sad songs, and they may even continue to remind me of you and how I once felt, but you are not The One That Got Away. I will not hold on to some unrealistic idea of who you were, of who we were. I do not want to find Someone Like You because I do not want to remember. I am happy with who I am, who I have become because you are now in my past. Because I look at my present.. at my future and how amazing it is and will be because he is absolutely nothing like you ?
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