You should just stop letting this control you. She needs to deal with her feelings and she will on her own time. You are blaming her because you feel guilty and I get it but you need to stop. You have the right to feel happy and excited and so you should. Stop letting her control your feelings. Stop hiding your excitement and then getting angry and blaming her. It's your choice.
But to say she should just be happy with what she has is really insensitive and unfair. Who are you to decide? You were able to put your sadness aside and that's great but not everyone can. You don't really know what she's going through. There could be things she isn't talking about to you or anyone. Depression is serious.
Your baby is coming either way but there is no reason she needs to be excited. It's your baby. For your own sanity, concentrate on your own family. Be happy and don't be afraid to show it.
EDIT When I say you don't know what she's going through I mean that we never know the full story. She may need professional help. She might not be able to just be thankful and move on. Even the same things can affect people differently.
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I agree.? I understand that it's making you uncomfortable, sad etc. but you cannot judge what should be enough for her to be happy.? We also struggled with infertility and are blessed to be pregnant with our second now.? If my son was turning 6 and we still hadn't been able to conceive, I would be heartbroken as well.? I understand that the actions she's taking in order to cope are affecting you, but you're in a happier place than she is right now - you're in a better position to deal with her standoffish-ness than she is to deal with your pregnancy. I hope that makes sense.
Please do not judge this poor woman - you know that she's not angry with you.? I'm sure you have tons of family and friends that are happy for you and support you; respect her feelings and don't be offended that her situation has led her to where she is now.
Absolutely all of this above. You are pregnant, never mind who "should" be happy and what they "should" be feeling, just focus on you and never mind her. She is in pain. When I was struggling to conceive, I was always happy for those that were pregnant, but that didn't mean that seeing them didn't remind me how broken and defective I felt. I am sure she is happy for you, she never said she wasn't. She has simply voted to stay away from seeing the belly and hearing any pregnancy talk. How can you be angry with her for that? Would you rather she came to the parties, drank a bit to much to drown the sorrow, cried in the bathroom and ruined the occasion for everyone else because she was so torn up over her own emotions and just couldn't hide them as well as you would like? How selfish would you think she was then? ?
Please let this poor woman deal with her emotions in her own way and focus a bit more on your growing belly and your happy pregnancy. You deserve that. ?You went through hell, and you have a right to be overjoyed with the heaven you have been given, so give yourself permission to be overjoyed.?
You are surrounded by a lot of family and friends who are so happy for you and are more than willing to tell you that repeatedly so let them! Just allow her to grieve in her own time, in her own home, away from the party that all those happy partygoers are gushing at. You can not change the actions of others, you can only change your reaction to their action. If your reaction is making you upset, change it. ??
Source: http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/69376461.aspx
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